Wars and Windmills

13 February 2007

Which is Worse V-Day or VD?

I am, though this may shed an ill light on me, constantly perplexed about the purpose of many of the major holidays in this country, and this next one, Valentines Day, is the coup de grĂ¢ce. It should be renamed as: Unimaginative, consumer-orientated, entirely arbitrary, manipulative, shallow representation of a way to celebrate love Day. Alas, the need for brevity negates this renaming idea from it's genesis, but the fact remains that Valentines Day is a contrived, campy, sadistic holiday. There...I said it.

My recent life development of marriage has yet to quell the hatred for this preternatural celebratory day, if anything marriage has magnified it. Before, the day was hated because it merely aggravated my loneliness and exaggerated my purely pathetic state. But now, I am forced to play in a silly game where I must choose between emptying my wallet and indulging in all manner feigned cheesiness or alienate my wife. I say: boo not yea to that dichotomy and a pox on V-Day for forcing me into this situation.

The solution to my quandary: Instead of an elementary school-esque show-and-tell style of declaring affections, I propose that at some random point the affirmation be made; this is vastly superior as it has a real element of surprise and its thoughtfulness is not mired in obligatory compliance.

Also, in another have-at-ye to this Hallmark holiday, I will no longer make reference to or acknowledge the day hence forth. I will cover my eyes and pretend to disappear. That'll learn 'em.

So, Happy Wednesday in mid-February.


  1. You had me at Choo

  2. Anonymous10:24 PM

    Dude, even if she says this is OK, deep down I'm pretty sure it's not OK if you don't do at least a tiny little extra special something for her on this day when we do little extra special somethings for the one we love the most. And I'm not saying you need to empty your wallet.

  3. Merci chic-handsome

    oh, i know it mr. anonymous man...i know. but the point and the principle remain, even if the my conviction to act on it fades.

  4. acghkkkk.......

    you just don't get it darren. V-Day is a great opportunity to go out and buy something that you both enjoy: hence, my gift to my wife--Scorcese's "The Departed" (and a copy of Mary Antoinette, specifically for her) and a boatload of chocolate.

  5. Joe, that is brilliant

  6. This is to all those out there who may think that MY feelings might be hurt by these sentiments. Don't worry. While frantically checking things off my "To Do" list on Monday night. I turned to Darren and said "Let's not celebrate Valentine's Day this year. I just don't have time this week to go shopping. But, I do love you." At that point he tried to tell me that this day would come and I would spend it wallowing in self-pity as the 13 year olds that I spend my days with were exchanging chocolate, silk flowers, and teddy bears. But alas, the day has come and he (well, and his mother, who was HORRIFIED when she heard of our plan to have no plans) can rest easy. I am tired, and not having to do the dishes tonight would be gift enough for me. Really. I promise.
    Although I do feel as though, because this is our FIRST V-D as a married couple, that we should at least exchange a card. OR better yet, go together to buy a new movie for ourselves. I would LOVE to watch Marie and her gilded lifestyle one more time. Those pink shoes just kill me.

    And in the words of my husband. Happy Mid-February Wednesday. We do love each other...and you!

  7. Darren, you have to also ask yourself: what would Chic Handsome do?

  8. kelly m2:58 PM

    hahaha "happy mid feb wednesday" has me laughing.

    at least you're not going to get VD on V-day as so many in this country will. that would really be the worst.

  9. i bought the wife flowers cause i'm rich. so there.