Wars and Windmills

12 November 2007

My Obsequious Manner Towards False Gods

I have a highly addictive personality...woe to me. Every once and a while this ugly addiction troll rears it's bestial mug and I am a goner; gone gone. The current smack in charge of my days and nights: Halo 3. My poor wife is in deep hate with my love affair with this game and I can't blame her. I have very adult things that need to take place in my immediate future that currently lay injured and dehydrated against the curb as I continue in my vain quest to slay as many as possible. I am weak. It doesn't help that I have friends, or enablers, that link up with me via the internet with and we join forces like unto Voltron to save the universe together. Ahhh, good times.

I need to grow the hell up..............well.....I need to find a happy mean.

And as though the Gods of Gaming weren't demanding enough of a sacrifice, they just released Guitar Hero III. Damn them. Now I must bow before the Gods of Rawk as well, and they are a far crueler master. The enabler in this instance is the set list. It has been populated with far more fine tuneage then the previous games. A smattering of some favorites:

Paint It, Black – The Rolling Stones
The Seeker – The Who
Paranoid – Black Sabbath
My Name Is Jonas – Weezer
Even Flow – Pearl Jam
Welcome to the Jungle – Guns N' Roses
The Number of the Beast – Iron Maiden
One – Metallica
Reptilia – The Strokes
Cities on Flame with Rock and Roll – Blue Öyster Cult

Give me strength fair friends. I need it. I can't imagine what would happen if I ever owned a Wii.

Game Over.


  1. I can't believe what I am hearing. Obe Wan was right, you've changed. No don't do this. Darren, you're breaking my heart. because of what you have done, what you are planned to do.

  2. oh star wars quotes modified to fit the situation...will you ever not be appropriate? I contend you will ever be a classic.

    Why aren't you at your post?

  3. feel not alone in your weakness, I too have fallen prey to the lure and rifts of Guitar hero III

  4. It's cool, I'm still a sucker for Zelda and when I don't have a playing console of any type, I have to resort to game after game of Spider Solitaire before bed because I have to fix my addiction with SOMETHING.

    You know I've never been an advocate of South Park, but I admit, ironically, before I read your post, I giggled my way through a bunch of YouTubes chronicling the episode that makes fun of Guitar Hero. Go and watch, Darren. It's so much more funny than anything I could write on your blog. The moment when the G.H. guru boy starts to play acoustic at an outdoor restaurant with nothing but plastic ticking and tapping made me roll around in laughter. I hate Guitar Hero. I hate it so much. But I know when I go home for five days at Thanksgiving, that's all my brother Will and I are going to do.

  5. I have seen that! That same part killed me especially when the folks around him say: "I love this song" and start feeling it. I saw that just last night, excellent timing.

  6. losers. i have none of these problems.

  7. I don't like admitting this, but you are my enabler. My nights off are spent oogling xbox modding sights, planning my own triumphant mod. And you addicted me to Guitar Hero and I don't even have a system that will play it. Asshole.

    I traded a fly rod for heart disease.....which is what you and I are going to die of.

  8. Oh Darren. You and your nintendo.

    I was gonna mention the same South Park episode as gillz.

    Now I'm but a mere echo.

    This comment is pointless.

  9. Your lament is felt by me. I've been jonesing for another system ever since I fried my PS2. I will get a Wii soon but the problem is how to stem the addiction? Abstinence? I would say so but I have the same problem as Gillz. I play paltry flash games and whatever computer games my laptop can handle.

    I think it's balance. I have to have Valerie and my creative outlet and reading and scriptures and calling magnifying and all that going on at the same time or I can't be happy when I relax for the leisure time thumb fury. Or finger fury of GH. Or arm swinging fury of Wii Sports.

    How to achieve balance? The first thing I'm going to do is make good on my promise to provide you with a list of Non-Fiction MFA programs. Those will be in your mailbox TONIGHT!

  10. Look into University of Denver's Creative PhD, Darren. I think Joe told me something about how you were applying there already, but if I end up doing more schooling than what I've already done been schooled in, that program'd be my top choice. That's right, I said it.

  11. that is my top choice. however, they require the subject test. I am not taking that. I am just not.

  12. Did James just say that he will get a Wii soon? Really? That's interesting. I wonder who's apartment he's going to move into once he gets it.

  13. Master Chief can dual wield those guitars.