Wars and Windmills

28 November 2007

Something I Hate...5

Rollerblading. I hate it.

I hate absolutely everything about it. Let us sit together and garner what is sacrificed by those who dare to don blades that roll.

Grace: gone
Dignity: so very gone
Grandeur: retired
Feasibility of negotiating terrain in mild to strong wind: vanished
Bragability that you look good in spandex: squandered
Remembrance that fanny packs are not a good idea: dissolved
Time spent looking cool: lost
Deniability that you long for the 90's: dead
Thinking fun can be had sans knee/elbow pads: gonzo

To think there are professionals of something so ludicrous outside a circus is the bitterest pill of them all.


  1. Be still my beating heart. There is nothing dorkier. Good post, I eagerly await tommorrows goods.

    It's like Christmas every day here!

  2. i feel hurt man.


  3. Nate, you're a rollerblader? I had no idea. Well, it's also no secret I don't like basketball either, but we are still friends. Let's add this to the list of dissimilarities and get back to having a grand ol' time.

  4. "The hardest part of rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay."
    - the Human Giant