Wars and Windmills

22 July 2008

Divulgence IV

Ever since I had it's Micro Machine, this Firebird with T-Top has always been a dream car of mine.

I am swimming in the white trash deep end I know, but come on, imagine with me here: picture me ripping down main street shirt off (or if it's on, it's a tank top), near-beer in hand, "Welcome to the Jungle" or "No More Tears" blaring over the speakers, white high-tops powered by legs donning shorter then acceptable cut off jean shorts putting the pedal straight to the metal, mustache curving upwards as it conforms to the smile that is beaming on my face...GLORIOUS. A pipe dream, I know. Still, a man can dream.


  1. R2D2 by your side. Lindsey in the back. Orange crush for you, Tab for Lindsey.

    I think Reo Speedwagon or better yet, "Pour Some Sugar on Me" might also be wise choices. You could actually play a real life mix tape on this thing.

    Even better would be if you had an 8 track player with the adapter that played cassettes (they exist, I owned one). Then you could have the cassette adapter that hooks up to Ipods, hooked up to the 8 track/cassette adapter, playing through the 8 track, blaring your shitty Indy music.

    Awesome. I am glad to see you posting again.

  2. Oops....

    I meant shitty Indie music.

    I hate your pal John Mayer for his awful rendition of Eddie Van Halen's Beat It solo.

    It sucked sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad.

    Is there no one that will redeem guitar playing? Is there Darren?

  3. the mullet, the mullet! don't forget the mullet!

  4. I still have that Micro Machine™.

  5. I can make that dream a reality my friend. Trust.

  6. I'm going to buy you some shorter than acceptable jean shorts and get a matching pair for myself. And then we're going to ride your scooter TOGETHER to a car show or monster truck rally and stand next to someone's sweet car.

    I will dig up a Guns N Roses cassette tape for the occasion.

  7. Anonymous1:43 PM

    Darren - You are a man of my heart! You could not have picked a better car for this dream than the Firebird T-top! Take it from one who owned three....and loved every minute I was driving! White trash or not...you little shit!!! Love you!

    Your dear Aunt Shari

  8. I've never thought as highly of you as I do now.